Celery Stalks 

When I first heard this as an instrumental by Ray McKinley (a drummer) and his big band. I was so intrigued by the title that I did a lot of digging to find a 1941 recording of Doris Day singing with the Les Brown Band; but was disappointed when the lyrics were not as funny as the title, this inspired me to add few wacky words of my own.

After listening to this - vegetarians may be left with nothing to eat.    

Vegetation Migration 

(Celery Stalks Intro) 

Nosati/Simmons 1988

I don't relish the thought of going out to my garden at midnight. Could it be my fertile imagination? Maybe I yam just hearing things, boy am I in a pickle, I must squash my fears endive got to find out what's there in the darkness or I won't get a moments peas. Look, all of the vegetables in the garden are uprooting them selves hoe what a harrowing experience, I'm sure it won't amount to a hill of beans, but my problems are mushrooming; an army of vegetables, a scallion battalion, is on the rampage, under the command of Colonel Corn (with the husky voice and the silky tones) sure he's a little wet behind the ears, but shucks he's the principle stalk holder. Who planted this seed of discontent? From where did it stem? Even with my green thumb I can't put my finger on it, but I know the soil is tired of being treated like dirt! Can you dig it?

Celery Stalks 

Sigman/Harris/Bradley 

(Additional lyrics by Al Simmons)

Celery stalks at midnight, 

Lurking in the moonlight, 

What's this funny nightmare all about? 

Celery stalks at midnight, 

I'm glad I've got my flashlight, 

I can see the broccoli juggling brussel sprouts. 

It's like a bad dream, 

A crazy sort of bad dream. 

Must have been something 

That I ate no doubt. 

Look at that potato putting on his shades, 

Claims he won them in a raffle, 

Now he's climbing a tree, 

Flirtin' with an apple. 

  

What's causing this vegetation migration? 

The tomato is far ahead of the others calling, 

"Ketchup, ketchup, where have you bean? 

Let's get to the root of this problem. 

Tell the flowers to get out of their beds." 

  

But the romaine held her ground crying, 

"Leaf me alone, lettuce wait, 

I don't carrot what you say, 

Something might turnip, 

You and the cabbage go on a-head." 

All eyes are on the potato, and the beat...goes on 

It's like a bad dream 

A crazy sort of mad dream 

Must have been something that I ate 

No doubt. 

  

Celery stalks at midnight 

Lurking in the moonlight 

What's this funny nightmare all about? 

"Its some sort of evil garden plot"!