Mosquitoes

(Diptera-Culicidae) 

Pronounced: "Dip-Tura-Q-Lis-I-Day"

1991

Simmons/Whiteley 



What is the reason for this little pests existence? Is it just food for birds, bats and dragonflies, or are they here to drive humans crazy? I spent a couple of summers hanging around stagnant pools of water watching and swatting the little critters. I read books and interviewed entomologists and the more I studied the more I realized that the mosquito is a mini-splendored thing.  



She was born in a ditch, 

She gonna make you itch. 


She gonna bite you bad, 

She gonna make you mad. 


She gotta long long beak 

She playin' hide and seak 


She buzzed round our ears 

For fifty million years. 


  

She's a fly with a needle, 

She's called a mosquito, 

She's dracula, incognito. 

Mosquitoe! 


She follows a trail of Co2 

From the door, to your snore. 


When you're a sleeping beauty 

And you get a twilight kiss. 


You'll find yourself on the pointy end 

Of her proboscis. 


  

Ouch she bit you 

And you slap her hard. 


There's nothing left but a tiny bump, 

That's her calling card. 


Isn't that a slap in the face. 

It's the anti coagulant in her saliva that irritates the skin. 

Only the female drinks blood. 


The male must stick to the juice of plants, 

His proboscis is too plain. 

He could attempt to make a meal of blood, 

But it would be in vein. 


You can't get blood from a stone, 

So she when she whines and dines, she dines alone. 


Its a meal intravenous, 

I tell you folks its heinous. 


She put the bite on you, 

She's havin' blood fondue. 


And in the evening if the air is warm, 

Male mosquitoes start to swarm. 

A female approaches to find a mate, 

Impelled by nature to propagate. 


We sit around our patio, cursing all the buzzin, 

And BBQ and shake our fist at the cloud of kissin cousins. 

(A humming choir of mini vampire!) 


Oblivious to our diatribes, 

His feathery antennae pick up her vibes, 

Sees the twinkle in her compound eyes, 

And the facts of life are realized. 


Now, she's gotta have a blood meal before she can lay 

Eggs that'll hatch. 

So she buzzes your ears and steals your blood 

And leaves you with a scratch. 

  


Then, she fly's away to digest her food 

Without saying thanks, man that's gratitude. 

  

She's a fly with a needle, 

She's called a mosquito, 

She's dracula, incognito. 

Mosquitoe. 

  

She stands at the water's edge and with a grimace and a grin 

250 eggs come out of her abdomen. 


The raft of eggs float on the surface tension 

And in two days you got a wiggler convention. 


That's the larva stage. 

They breathe through tubes, they got no legs, 

They ove by lashing their abdomen from side to side. 

Wigglers! 


They're like synchronized swimmers with snorkels. 

They hang around the surface, breathing air and eating algae. 


All they seem to do is eat and eat and eat. 

Then they turn into the pupa stage in approximately one week. 


That's transmogrification. 


A pupa looks like a fat comma with horns. 


They crack their pupa case, 

Like the chicken and the egg. 

When they appear they yawn and 

Stretch their long skinny legs. 


And when their wings dry they can fly. 


They gonna fly all night, 

They gonna give you bites. 


They gonna pierce your skin, 

To get the blood within. 


In a swamp, tin can, tire, or dugout, 

The eggs can survive several years of a drought. 


There are eggs waitin' in a dry pot hole, 

For that miracle of rain. 

And when it becomes a puddle 

The cycle starts all over again. 


Watch out here they come! 


Put up the screens and stay indoors, 

You scratch my back I'll scratch yours. 


Listen to them buzzzz!! 

Now that's an onomatopoeia. 

We need a mosquitoe abatement plan, 

But there's no panasea. 


You can however reduce the risk of being bitti by wearing light 

coloured clothing and using an insect repellant 


There's a chemical that helps you hide 

From all of the mosquitoes that are outside 

Just grease your front and your back side 

With diethylmetatoluamide 

That's D-E-E-T 

She hates the smella citronella 


She's a fly with a needle, 

Called a mosquito, 

She's dracula, incognito. 


Mosquito 

Moskeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

  

(Slap!) 

© Al Simmons 2024
www.alsimmons.com