Balloon Bear    Al Simmons   

My son asked me to send him a postcard of a Polar Bear when I was in Churchill Manitoba.  The only one I could find was of a polar bear rug.  I wrote this poem on the back of the card as an eccentric explanation.   A blending of pure zaniness and education, this songmanages to combine a discussion of flatulence and Newton's Third Law of Motion.

Genetic engineers, after trying for years,

Are growing hair where it can’t. 

And more or less have had some success

Completing each hair transplant.

A scientist wise said, “Lets vulcanize

And try the effects on bags of latex.”

 

Scientists pooled their resources 

While gathered one mid-afternoon. 

Molecular structures were altered;

They created a furry balloon.

By blending rubber polymers, a few mutated molecules,

Some GMOs and I suppose a handful of hair follicles.

There’s a Polar Bear Rug on the living room floor.

Where did it come from, what is it for?

It  may look ferocious yet fluffy and flat;

It was never intended to be a floor mat.

You may guess that it once was alive, that’s debatable,

Actually it started it’s life as a furry inflatable.

Here lies a birthday balloony bear,

Exhausted due to lack of air.

Deflated snout deflated paw,

Purged obeying Newton's third Law.

Newton’s 3rd Law of motion states that for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

The balloon moves forward and this I contend

Is caused by the air rushing out of the end.

Once the birthday was celebrated,

Guest of honour congratulated, 

With jet propulsion the balloon deflated

As it circumnavigated.

It was a whopping big bear balloon

That soared to the sound 

of a flatulent tune.

As you can imagine it took four of us

To remove the cork 

from its rear orifice.