I hate to anthropomorphize,
An animal’s smart —but is it wise?
At humour would it take offence?
Or simply laugh at its own expense.
A farm and a zoo were neighbours,
Just across the street.
The farm could hear the lion's roar,
The zoo, the lamb's bleat.
The farmer leaned upon the fence
And chewed a piece of straw.
He watched the zoo-keep yank a thorn
Out of the lion's paw.
Studying the road and all its
Modes of transportation,
Farmer decided it was time to
Start a conversation.
It was then the thing was said that
Instigated the craze.
I don't remember exactly
So I'll have to paraphrase.
The farmer, he asked the question,
"Why’d the chicken cross the road?"
The animals were perplexed,
Was it a secret human code?
They didn't hear the answer
But they heard their keepers’ laugh,
As they walked away to feed
Both cattle and giraffe.
In the zoo and on the farm,
Both the feathered and the furry,
Each living thing fell silent
And they all began to worry.
"Did you hear that?" purred the cat.
"She crossed the road!" The rooster crowed.
"What's it mean?" barked wolverine.
"Cocka doodle do-tell me,”
Said the rooster on the fence.
“The farmer’s tricky question
Doesn't make a lick of sense.”
Where did the chicken go?
Why would she want to leave?
Parts of this story were simply
Too hard to believe.
On both sides of the highway
All the critters ruminated,
But on the farm a plan was
About to be created.
"What should we do?" Pigeons coo.
"Have a meeting." sheep were bleating
"Make a lissst." snake hissed
Lets examine all the facts
And list the things we know.
A hen, apparently, flew the coop,
Why and where'd she go?
"I don't know." yelled the crow.
"Take a vote" said the goat.
"OK, when?" clucked the hen.
"How 'bout now." Oinked a sow.
"Yes but where." Whispered hare.
"At the zoo," cows moo.
"Let's go and ask our neighbours,
Living at the zoo,
To help us solve this riddle
And think of what to do."
Yes over at the farmyard
They didn't hesitate.
They asked the horse to use his teeth
To open up the gate.
"Time to go." Roosters crow.
"Yes of course" neighed the horse.
“Look both ways.” Donkey brays
Meanwhile, at the zoo they tried
But couldn't do the math.
They saw their country cousins
Coming down the path.
“G’day and welcome to the zoo."
Said their cousin kangaroo.
"Why are you here?" asked the deer.
"To figure it out." The chickens shout.
"Can only hope." cried Antelope.
"Yes of course," the lion roars.
Dialogue took place between
Wild and domesticated.
You should have heard the racket
That all of them created.
"What's the deal?" queried seal.
"Oh the trauma." moaned the lamma.
"What a wimp." said the chimp.
"There's no hope." cried antelope.
"Stop your cryin'." roared the lion.
"Make it soon." snarled raccoon.
"Hide your head!" ostrich said.
"You’re all wonky." brayed the donkey.
"And you're a fool." said the mule.
The farmer looked around his farm,
No pig, no horse, no bull.
But just across the street he saw
The Zoo was more than full.
"What on earth were they laughing fur?"
Quizzed the ring tailed lemur
"I don't care." growled the bear.
"That's fine." said porcupine
"Thanks a lot!" moaned ocelot
"Oh, P-lease." said chimpanzees.
The zoo-keep called for quiet.
T’was time to make things right.
The animals fell silent,
Because they were polite.
"Why did all of you cross the road?"
The lonely farmer cried.
The animals all yelled at once:
"To get to the other side!"
"That's a joke." the chicken spoke
"What a laugh!" cried giraffe.
"That's too funky." screeched the monkey.
“Joke’s on us platypus.”
“What a howl.” hooted owl.
“Cackle cackle.” barked the jackal.
"That joke stunk." sniffed the skunk.
© Al Simmons 2025
www.alsimmons.com
